It is an enrichment of my life
Joyce Tenzer, internal account manager at DLL, had long wanted to do something with and for young people. When Milka van de Kerkhof of Samen voor Eindhoven drew her attention to the Match! project of Humanitas, she was immediately enthusiastic. In this project Humanitas Match! volunteers to young people who are struggling and could use some support. Joyce was matched with a 16-year-old girl who fled alone to the Netherlands at the age of 14. Her sister was already staying here, but she didn't know where. Her niece was still staying abroad. Recently, they were reunited.
Just being yourself
"I was immediately attracted to this project because I am very aware that we ourselves are privileged," Joyce says. "There are plenty of people who have it a lot less. I had the idea beforehand that we would mainly be dealing with high school dropouts. In practice, the young people turn out to have very diverse backgrounds; teenage mothers, victims of loverboys, youth placed out of home, refugees. This was evident during the three training sessions I attended beforehand. During those training sessions, we discussed and acted out different cases. The trainer explained different situations and she explained the best way to react. What you should and shouldn't do. In practice, the bottom line is that you have to stay true to yourself. There is no point in reacting in a socially desirable way. These young people see right through that. They have been through so much already and have often had to deal with so many agencies. They have lost confidence. They need someone who is there for them. Someone who listens to them and does not judge them. It is nice when they do not have to do anything and can do nice things. And experience the feeling that they matter."
A peek into another world
"Indeed, the idea of the project is to match young people with backpacks with ordinary people," explains Esther Manders, Project Coordinator at Humanitas. "Social workers see them enough already. We are looking for people who offer these young people time, attention and commitment. Who do something extra in addition to the assistance the young people already receive. That's why we ask for a one-year commitment. Together with the young person, you decide when and how often you meet. So you can easily combine this volunteer work with your work and family. However, it takes time to gain the trust of these young people. It is therefore important that you meet regularly. Creating trust takes time. It is quite a big step for the young people to make a new connection with someone. They have been disappointed so many times already."
The right match
"We pay a lot of attention to making a good match," Esther said. "During an initial meeting with a buddy, we discuss why someone wants to participate. This is followed by the trainings Joyce already mentioned. During those trainings you learn a lot about the young people who participate and their different backgrounds as well as about yourself. How flexible are you? And how patient? Do you tend to always take the lead or are you good at letting go? Because you learn a lot about yourself, after the training you also know better which situation suits you best. For example, Joyce consciously indicated that she would like a match with someone from the AZC."
First encounter
"That was a good choice," agrees Joyce. When I met my buddy, she was still in the AZC in Eindhoven. Our first meeting also took place there. That was very special. I didn't know that world yet. In the meantime, I have also met some of her friends. My buddy and her sister now really realize that they are building a new life here in the Netherlands. So having a contact in the Netherlands is very useful. By the way, we have our conversations in Dutch. She wants that herself. This is the only way she can learn the language properly. In the AZC they mainly talk in their own language, because it is easier. She also met my daughters fairly quickly. That immediately clicked very well. We went swimming together once. I also just take my daughters to the AZC. There they enjoy running around with my buddy's niece. They all enjoy seeing each other. It's nice when you see everyone enjoying themselves then."
Support from Humanitas
"Contact is unfortunately a little more difficult now, because the AZC in Eindhoven has closed. My buddy, her sister and niece have been transferred to Groningen. That's not next door. But we have regular telephone contact. And together with Esther I do everything I can to get her back to Eindhoven as soon as possible. After all, she has already started building a new life here. Meeting up and doing fun things is more difficult now, but that will come later. When she is back in Eindhoven. Finding housing and a good school is more important for now. Humanitas is helping me with that."
No regrets
"I'm glad I decided to participate AND with my match! I find it an addition to my daily life. Really an enrichment. For me and for my children. They learn that we have it very good and that it can also be different. The project officially lasts a year, but I already know for sure that we will stay in touch after that year."
After the year
"The buddy project does indeed last a year," Esther adds. "During that year we guide you where necessary and we also regularly discuss how things are going. After that year, it's up to you whether you want to keep in touch with your match. We also tell this clearly to the participating young people from the beginning. This prevents disappointment. In practice, however, we see that most buddies stay in touch. That they have really built a friendship bond. If the frequency decreases a little, that's fine too. After that year, most young people are better able to make social contacts themselves and are therefore less dependent on their buddy. They have gained more confidence and are more self-reliant. That's what you do it for."
Become a buddy, too?
"To continue making good matches, we are always looking for new volunteers. Do you have room in your schedule, your head and your heart? And do you like to keep developing yourself? Then we are looking for you! Just being there is often enough! For more information, visit humanitas.nl/department/eindhoven. There you will also find information about our other volunteer projects."
Thanks to our Pro Bono volunteer Annick Zegers of AZcommunication for writing this article.